A Turk's Lament
by Vampire Turk
Summary: Reno reflects on babysitting the remnants for Vincent Valentine. Slight RenoKadaj. Songfic to Yokko Kanno's "Blue".


**Never seen a blue sky**

**Yeah I can feel it reaching out**

**And moving closer**

**There's something about blue**

**Asked myself what it's all for**

**You know the funny thing about it**

**I couldn't answer**

**No I couldn't answer**

_Yeah - long time I've written anything in this. I guess I've been thinking a bit too much lately._

_Not enough time in the day. Once more, I offered my services to Vincent Valentine to babysit his 'adopted family'. I don't mind it too much. Extra cash doesn't hurt. Babysitting the remnants isn't as bad as some would think. Behaving tends to be easy for them. _

_Tseng knows about it, but it's not such a big deal anymore._

_He doesn't seem to care much about what I do in my spare time anymore. I'm grateful for that._

**Things have turned a deeper shade of blue**

**And images that might be real**

**May be illusion**

**Keep flashing off and on**

_Managed to almost freeze my hands in the cold earlier while picking up the silver-haired children earlier today. Kadaj and his brothers. _

_The remnants, especially Kadaj, they've got mommy issues. Not that I blame them._

_I never had much of a parent myself. I was on my own since age 7. Remember being shifted from place to place, never really fitting in anywhere. My older brother wasn't allowed to see me - he had a drug problem that kept him from taking care of me._

_And people wonder what's wrong with me. Why I chose to make a name for myself with the Shinra Company. As a Turk._

**Free**

**Wanna be free**

**Gonna be free**

**And move among the stars**

**You know they really aren't so far**

_I'm sure Kadaj loves his brothers. They've got their own family unit, their own little handshake - kiddy things. Secret family traditions that the normal family has. I envy them. Just watching them work together makes me a little jealous. It's like watching a part of life I never had. I'm not one to cry over trivial things, but I've caught myself close to tears. _

**Feels so free**

**Gotta know free**

_I've been caught crying by Kadaj several times. Made up the excuse that I've got something irritating my eyes. He always acted like he bought it, but I'm sure to Gaia he never has._

**Please**

**Don't wake me from the dream**

**It's really everything it seemed**

**I'm so free**

_Been at their house for a few hours now._

_Helped Kadaj make his Jenova-cell cookies, but didn't eat even one. Didn't feel like eating anything. Still don't want to touch them. Kadaj asked me if I wanted one, but I declined. _

_Another signature fake smile plastered on my face. A cracked one, since it's such an old trick._

_Had to break up a fight between Loz and Kadaj over the choice of movie for their 'movie night'. Underworld 1 or 2. Suggested they watch both, which worked._

_Wound up with a bruise on my shoulder, but I'll live. I always do._

**No black and white in the blue**

_Despite dealing with the remnants almost every night, it's not that bad. They got used to a Turk babysitting them when 'Father' is away. _

_One other thing I didn't have._

_Kadaj and his brothers should be grateful for what they have. Not all people are as lucky._

_I'm sitting in my car writing this. I haven't left yet, but I just felt like I needed a breather. This is better than sitting inside that house, babysitting the missing parts of my life while holding back whatever emotion or sadness I feel. Watching the remnants is more painful than anything. I've been through._

_Kadaj does seem to like me, but I'm not so sure he trusts me. I wouldn't be surprised._

_No one tends to trust the Turks, on any grounds they can think of._

_The stupidity of people. _

_Not only do they not trust me - the remnants are their newest targets. _

_The main reason they were out in the cold earlier. I could've just left them to freeze, but I wasn't gonna let that happen._

_Don't feel like going back to get my coat. I figure whoever finds it can have it - I've got plenty back at the apartment._

_The other reason for sitting out here - the carburetor broke and I'm stuck. And cold._

_Maybe I should've grabbed my coat._

**Everything is clearer now**

**Life is just a dream you know**

**That's never ending**

Reno looked up, hearing a tapping on the window.

"Hey, Turkie - you forgot this."

A silver-haired remnant dressed in a thick parka stood outside his car door. The redhead closed the journal, stuffing it into the glove compartment, and slowly opened the door, catching a glimpse of his breath crystallized in the air.

Kadaj held up the dark blue coat in one hand, handing it to the shivering Turk. "Thought you might need it."

Reno nodded, quickly putting it on. "Damn, it's cold . . ." He glanced at the remnant, stuffing his hands into coat pockets.

**I'm ascending**

". . .Thanks."


End file.
